Strictly Optional Customer Service

(From an ongoing discussion with a particularly shrewd customer, I've devised a new customer preference question, to keep pace with this modern, networked, customer-righteous age.)

How would you like your customer service?

• Humorous
  • Irony
  • Camp
• Stuffy
  • Use "Sir" or "Ma'am" every sentence
  • Use a lot of big vague words
  • Ask lots of questions
• Obsequious
• Obtuse
• Chatty
• Bored Indifferent
• Bipolar
• Tourette Syndrome
• Abusive
  No profanity Mild profanity Sailor Blush
• Baby Talk
• Animal Noises
  Farm Tropical Rainforest Cartoon
• Ebonics
  Northern Urban Southern Rural Faked by Suburban White Boys
• Incomprehensible
  Native English Logorrhoea Heavily Accented English Unfamiliar Language Made-Up Language
• Loving
  Motherly Avuncular Creepy
• Sultry
  Female Male Gay Male Butch Dyke Indeterminate Gender
• Sassy
  Flo from "Alice" Louie from "Taxi" Lucy The Slut from "Avenue Q"