Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Strictly Optional Customer Service

(From an ongoing discussion with a particularly shrewd customer, I've devised a new customer preference question, to keep pace with this modern, networked, customer-righteous age.)

How would you like your customer service?

  • Humorous
    • Irony
    • Camp
  • Stuffy
    • Use "Sir" or "Ma'am" every sentence
    • Use a lot of big vague words
    • Ask lots of questions
  • Obsequious
  • Obtuse
  • Chatty
  • Bored Indifferent
  • Bipolar
  • Tourette Syndrome
  • Abusive
      No profanity Mild profanity Sailor Blush
  • Baby Talk
  • Animal Noises
      Farm Tropical Rainforest Cartoon
  • Ebonics
      Northern Urban Southern Rural Faked by Suburban White Boys
  • Incomprehensible
      Native English Logorrhoea Heavily Accented English Unfamiliar Language Made-Up Language
  • Loving
      Motherly Avuncular Creepy
  • Sultry
      Female Male Gay Male Butch Dyke Indeterminate Gender
  • Sassy
      Flo from "Alice" Louie from "Taxi" Lucy The Slut from "Avenue Q"


paperback reader said...

I'll take them all, please. If I had to pick one, I'd say that all customer service should be modeled after Flo, the sassy southern cook on "Alice," who told many a backsasser to kiss her grits.

Bob Stein said...

Good idea, pistols. Integrated in.

Unknown said...

It is indeed a great idea pistols. Customer service must always have the quality any customer is expecting for. By the way, thank you for sharing us this post!


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