My new time management trick: pretend I'm already an expert at choosing what to do. That I always know the optimum way to spend time; and I'm always doing exactly that until inventing the next optimal task. I appreciate the positive-feedback, self-reinforcing-illusion loop:
The better I do it, the more I believe in it.
The more I believe it, the better I do at it.
Even while playing some bit role, of a sucker doing something I couldn't argue my way out of fast enough, I tell myself "The Ninja Knows" and pretend it's what I decided to do. Gullibility is a boon sometimes. Another example, the ninja says writing this blog entry will invest more ownership in the tactic. Rationalizations, party of two or more, your circular table is ready.
This is now the leading candidate for displacing the time management strategy I've been using for decades:
Berate myself for wasting time until I work harder (at something blameless)
Blame others for distractions and for not helping, or for helping poorly, at least until they leave me alone (this works eventually)
Avoid and agonize over unfun undones, then do them with inner melodrama, then seek sympathies and distractions as if deserving them
The best part of bluffing the time ninja is I no longer have use for stress or resentment. I'm actually kinda serious, I've been practicing this for about forty-eight hours now, and it is actually kinda working. Use your inner ninja.
Yes,
or No but I'm disgusted you want to eat after me, but by letting you know that I'm vaguely insulting myself
(after being struck by a car)
Are you ok?
4 sec
No
(from mother)
Is there a new girl / boy in your life?
3.9 sec
Yes but you would not approve of her / him,
or No but I'm afraid you'll help,
or Maybe except how to tell you it's a boy / girl
So, did you like my casserole?
3.8 sec
No
(from mother)
Are you happy in your life?
3.6 sec
No but if I let you know I'll never get off the ph...
Darn it.
Who farted?!?
3.5 sec
Me
Are you choking?
3.2 sec
Yes
You didn't eat the last piece of pie did you?
3.1 sec
Yes
I didn't offend you, did I?
3 sec
Yes
Do you like my new dress / haircut / nose job?
2.8 sec
No
Do you love me?
2.5 sec
No
Are you happy I'm pregnant?
2.2 sec
No
Are you having an affair?
0.64 sec
Yes
(implicit with all unconcluded email exchanges)
Do you still like me, or foresee any advantage at all to association with me?
72 hours, or 3 times median response time
No*
* or Yes, I'm still composing an eloquent, original, charming way to get it across
or No, I'm still composing a face-saving way to avoid saying so
or Yes, but not enough to notice your last email had a question in it
or No, and I can't believe you haven't picked up on it yet
or Maybe, but something more interesting is happening in my life
or Don't know either, but other neglected emails have scrolled yours out of view
Making fun of people who ridicule is at least intellectually dangerous. If you care about being mistaken for the wrong team, that is.
PunditMom raises some interesting questions about the, shall we say conversation-stimulating new cover of the New Yorker. (I call it a double-irony because it makes you ask, 1, are they making fun of the Obamas, Muslims, or Black Panthers? Or, 2, of the people who infer an association?) Mocking the number one team is highly fashionable. The interesting observation PunditMom makes is that it's not only unfashionable to mock the number two or three team, but those who do are passionately censured. It's unfashionable *not* to censure said mockers.
Ethnically mixed societies at uneasy peace are nothing new of course. And so there must also be a long precedent to the effect PunditMom illuminates. Some sound reason for the rigid byzantine rules of political correctness. Here's a try at answering her question. Once ethnic groups begin commercial integration, insulting the disadvantaged groups must be stifled. Otherwise you got your insurrection. So when someone says "whatever you do, don't disrespect Muslims" they may be channeling subconscious instincts "don't encourage Muslim revolt". Think it's sincere? The best way to appear sincere is to believe it yourself. Just notice how rarely westerners get passionate about anything else Muslim. But hey, I'm really very content with selfishness doing more good than evil.
Back to the complexities of double-irony. After Obama is elected, I look forward to the doubly-ironic political cartoon (here and now I predict it) where U.S. Christians parade Obama as a conspicuous human shield on display for the benefit of the Muslim world, wearing a sandwich board "Lookit his name, will you? Now PLEASE don't hurt us!" I think it might be the shrewdest ever phantom campaign platform. Not for duping Muslims, but Christian voters.
Speaking of double-irony, reminds me of Nellie McCay.
Is she mocking feminists? Or feminist bashers? Probably the latter, but I revel in not being sure. I adore ambiguous people because I think the rest are just up to something that will ultimately confuse me more.
To the Sea
-
The Beaches in Toronto. This is it. Ten years worth of daily images is
over. I don't know how to thank you for supporting me over the years. It's
been a ch...
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Tour guide vs. Tourist: The ultimate face-off “You’re too loud!” A man’s
nylon-enshrouded arm waved for my attention, for everyone’s attention. He
looked m...
The Farewell Tour (with only one stop....)
-
I can hardly believe that it has been almost a year since I returned from
Thailand. It has been a loooooong year, filled with a lot of adjustments
and neve...
tahini
